Tension. We had some in our Big Idea meeting today. Our team gets along super well. We’re friends. We aren’t just doing ministry together. We’re doing life together. But it got a little awkward. But here’s the deal: tension is such a healthy thing if it is handled correctly. I think conflict is like a growth stimulus. Relational steroids.

I honestly believe that truth is found in the tension of opposites. That is a linchpin in my theology. Job 11:6 says, “True wisdom has two sides.” We are too content with one-dimensional truth. But true wisdom is typically found on the far side of tension.

Too often we run away from conflict, but I’ve found that conflict will actually bring you closer together if you handle it right. Tension not only keeps our relationships from becoming superficial. Tension forces us to talk about things we should be talking about but don’t want to talk about. Conflict has a way of taking us to a new level relationally and organizationally.

I think most staff problems trace back to someone internalizing something they should have verbalized. And it results in high levels of pent up frustration and bad morale. Here is a great rule of thumb: don’t internalize. Verbalize.

I want a culture at NCC where we can show tough love and talk about tough topics. We don’t have to see eye to eye on everything, but we need to have one heart.

I’m not suggesting you pick fights But instead of shutting the conflict down we need to talk through it. We need more wrestling matches. The end result of our conversation was some critical insights into communication and structure.

What I’m trying to say is this: tension is good. Without tension you can’t have stringed instruments or trampolines or teams.

By the way, always end those kinds of conversations validating people. I tell our team all the time: who you are is more important than what you do.

Just verbalizing