Can I share some reflections as we end The Elephant in the Church series?

What a series! Really stressful from a preaching standpoint. Tough topics. Sensitive topics. But I think it was really healthy for our congregation. And it was good for me. Let me try to explain how.

One of the challenges pastors face is preaching to please people. You obviously want to bless, inspire, challenge and impact the people you’re speaking to. But their opinion of your message isn’t the true litmus test. The true test is this: what did God think of it? And that is really tough to discern. So, by default, we usually judge our messages by the positive or negative feedback we get. Right? Just keeping it real.

I think The Elephant in the Church series has been healthy for me. Not sure how to say this. And I hope it comes across the right way. But I’m caring less and less about people’s opinions of my sermons. I knew going into this series that somebody would be offended with every sermon. I just try to be an equal-opportunity offender. Here’s what I’m praying: Lord, help me love people more and more and care about their opinions of me less and less. I don’t want to pastor defensively. I genuinely want more of a prophetic edge. I need to hear those Spirit whispers and then shout them from the rooftops.

I’ve learned that one of the tricks of ministry is keeping a soft heart and developing a tough skin. You’d like to think that everybody will agree with everything you say in every message. Not gonna happen! Especially as the church gets larger.

Years ago I memorized something Abe Lincoln said. It’s my fall-back position when I experience criticism. Every leader ought to put this to memory. He said, “You can please all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.” So true!

Here are seven thoughts on criticism:

1) If someone disagrees with something I say, I’d much rather have them verbalize than internalize those things! So I welcome emails when people have issues. If they email every week, that’s a different issue!

2) As a pastor, you have to preach what God put in your heart and let the chips fall where they may. At the end of the day, the only true validation is whether or not we said what God wanted us to say. The sermon your congregation liked the least may be the one God liked the most. Or vice versa.

3) Don’t get defensive when you are criticized. Read those emails thoughtfully and prayerfully. If you do, it’ll make you a better person and a better communicator!

4) Discern the spirit of the criticism. I’ve gotten a few emails during this series from people who have disagreed with the angle I took on some of the issues. And that’s ok. I’m not omniscient. And you can only cover so many issues and angles in thirty minutes. But here is the real test. Can we agree to disagree? If we can, then the level of respect actually goes up despite our differences. But whether the criticism comes off as prideful or humble, your response better be in the spirit of humility.

5) As a leader, you’re never beyond exhortation, correction, or reproof. If you think you’re above it or beyond it you’re headed for trouble!

6) Make sure the criticism passes the filter test. I heard Erwin McManus say something years ago that I’ve never forgotten. “Don’t let an arrow of criticism pierce your heart unless it first passes through the filter of Scripture.” If it passes through the filter, then deal with it. If it doesn’t, then the criticism you received is probably a reflection of some of the issues and insecurities the criticizer has.

7) Keep a soft heart. The way you do that is by staying in the Word and staying humble. And if you have a bad attitude toward someone, pray for them.

Boom. Done.