What is the hardest word in the English language to say? It’s not antidisestablishmentarianism. It’s a much shorter word. It’s the two-letter word “no.”

I’ve shared this before, but by nature I’m a “yes” person. It’s hard for me to say “no” to anyone or anything. I’m a recovering people pleaser. But I was greatly impacted by something Andy Stanley wrote in his book Choosing to Cheat. He said, “Saying yes to one thing is saying no to something else.” So true. Yet it’s so hard to say “no.”

One of the things I really wrestle with at this point is saying “no” to meetings and invitations to speak. I’ll always struggle with it. I want to meet with anyone and everyone. And anytime anyone extends an invitation to speak I’m humbled and honored. But Lora and I have a standing joke: every opportunity is an “amazing” opportunity. I genuinely believe that. But let me share a personal revelation that is helping me manage my boundaries.

Last year I operated on this principle: when in doubt, say yes. And that led to over-commitment and no margins. The end result? Spiritual and intellectual burn-out. I didn’t feel like I could give each opportunity what it deserved. My new modus operandi? When in doubt, say no. Obviously this doesn’t apply to every situation or decision, but it is helping me manage speaking engagements a little better. When I feel some internal tension because I’m over-committing, I need the courage to say “no.”

Just processing out loud.